Diary 5/15/18
Departure into the Unknown
5/11
Woke up with a clench of fear in the gut that dissipated as soon as I opened my eyes enough to be present. No husband, no identity, no ideas. It was an animal moment of disorientation. A momentary loss of ground. A total loss of any ground and then it passed; I am here for right now and here is where I will be until I am packed and driven away. I am safe. I am sad. I am un-tethering. I am happy to have a benign future to anticipate. I am speechless. I am a fount of the unknown.
5/15/18
My friend Cathie, who is soon also moving to the mid-west, asked me how I am. I said “confused, fearful, certain, doubtful, curious, sad, and excited.” That is taken with a strong pinch of love. That pinch sustains me for my last week and a half of living in upstate New York. Boxes stand everywhere, along with bags, and large rubber bins; some are labeled and sealed, and some still an open question. I am leaving here no matter how complete or unfinished I feel. The material objects packed into our car will be obvious, few, and necessary. The rest of my old home life will be stored for whatever purpose my daughter Emilia and son-in-law Zoran might want for their new home.
I have often used the metaphor of aerialists to point out that there is a moment when you must let go of one trapeze in order to trust your forward momentum to grab on to the next one swinging your way. You feel a weightless gap in the middle of every change. Thrilling, terrifying, and tremendously fulfilling when you don’t end up bouncing down into the net or further into the sawdust and regret below. If you do fall, you have to climb back up the ladder and strengthen your skills to try swinging out harder to reach the next bar or fellow aerialist coming along.
Departure includes making order out of chaos, retaining just enough of the old skeleton to resurrect a new life. I have had the luxury of time to strip down to a usable skeleton. I require little padding and have no idea of how to imagine what the new body will look like. It is an open experience for me and I think, in the long run, it is easier this way- to discover a context for daily living without so many preconceptions to prejudice me towards my future. I am moving into the unknown environment of Kendal, a senior living facility in Oberlin, OH. I am aiming for them to catch me at the other end of my swing to the west.
Fount of the Unknown Waters
5/15/18
Spewing out my known losses
makes room
for unknown aquifers
artesian wells spring forth
with every step
saints and god/desses do that
leave footprints of faith
well marked oases on desert sands
Thirsty
I try to follow
while clutching the world I knew
puddles shrink into sand
until there is nothing to grasp
Unlooked for
unknown waters arise
gushing forth
fountains everywhere nowhere
sprayed exuberantly from earth to air
dissipating mists of time and memory
unpredictable eruptions of pure faith
drench the weary traveler through and through
Judi B's Blog 
anal sex toys
Although i’ve only found a few pairs of pants that
fit well. Personally, i favor american eagle jeans.
They always seem to fit juuust right. The My Private “O” you can get though deep muscle pain and do not worry you can still get a great light tissue rub down that we all need after
a stressful day. Next it can be use on the nipple to help
with arousal, even if you have big nipples or small ones. After that we women can use it for the clitoris that will
leave you with your own Private Smile all day long.
anal sex toys Perceived stress and well being, as well as
salivary cortisol, were measured before and after the test period.
Relative to those in the Facebook Normal condition, those
in the No Facebook condition experienced lower levels of cortisol and life
satisfaction. Our results suggest that the typical Facebook user may occasionally find the large
amount of social information available taxing, and Facebook vacations could
ameliorate this stress at least in the short term..
anal sex toys
butt plugs It’s sewn into a crotch liner type deal,
which is made of the same material as the rest of the panties.
I just feel like with the sleeve being sewn in, it makes this less hygienic.
Also, it’s going to make it harder for all anatomies to have the toy perfectly placed.
butt plugs
cock rings If you suffer from erectile disfunction then think twice before reaching for modern day synetic remedies like Viagra.
There are other safer and more traditional means to help you achieve success in the bedroom.
From the same people who recreated the historical delights of the Higo Zuiki Japanese dildo and other ancient sex toys, the
tried and tested Higo Taiho will turn your member into a cannon (taiho) with the help
of Kumamoto’s finest adult craftsmen. cock rings
male sex toys Appearing on Channel 4’s How’d You Get So Rich?
the 38 year old model told comedian Katherine Ryan that she’s built up a multi million pound fortune
by being a “hustler”. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1
9GF. “The Sun”, “Sun”, “Sun Online” are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited.
male sex toys
vibrators It’s great for jotting down quick notes, and I would even venture to say that, if this hadn’t
been a sex toy, it would be great for children due to the large diameter and light weight.
The ink color is your standard ballpoint black; not
the blackest black I’ve ever seen, but functional and readable enough.
I wouldn’t use this pen for special correspondence
or occasions, but let’s face it: Cal Exotics isn’t a pen company,
and they’re probably aiming at a different demographic than your usual
pen enthusiast.. vibrators
dildos TBH I have always just seen it as this alien object just there attached to my body.
I don’t consciously identify with it. I dont see
it as the embodiment of my identity or manliness or any
of those things. And you family riders. Parents teach your kids they
dont have the whole path to ride on! And the parents should split up and one be the lead rider that
the bike train and one that pulls up the rear. You don own the
path and everyone else should NOT have to be hindered by
your troupe of weaving child riders. dildos
vibrators I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
With 3 children and being together for 14 years, it is necessary to try new things to keep it interestingI really feel that the desire of it could go either way.
I heard, for the most part, an equal amount of women saying that they have thought about it as compared to men. My
husband and I are both very outgoing sexually. vibrators
anal sex toys “What makes more sense when it comes to our sex lives: the infrequent feast or a frequent delicious snack that creates a hunger for more?” Therapists commonly suggest a massive infusion of romance for exsanguinating relationships.
“Schedule, plan, make dates blah,blah,blah. Lots of us have tried to follow the experts’ advicebut they have it wrong and, full disclosure, I have been among them. anal sex toys
cock rings Warner started out with some pretty unrealistic ideas about kids and psychiatric medications, and sometimes this book feels like an overreaction in the other direction. As if, once awakened to the heart wrenching reality of children with mental disorders, she was wary of implying that the parents had nefarious intentions or were derelict in their duty. It’s not that Warner doesn’t acknowledge, for example, that drug companies have played an important role in expanding the use of untested medications in children cock rings.
LikeLike