September

Dahlia in September by author

It is my birthday month. This year, September 21 coincides with International Peace Day, so I decided to celebrate peace for my 75th birthday. On short videos, friends of mine sang and /or created songs, poetry readings, a piano improvisation, and two verbal offerings for finding peace within and the circumstances necessary for creating peace. These have now been linked in one half hour video. I will share that movie with my community as an invitation to share our own feelings and thoughts. Then we will gather outside at our peace pole and return to have a piece of peace cake also acknowledging that it is my birthday and that cultivating peace is my wish for myself, our community, our country, our world, and our planet.

A simple wish, I know. Hah! Keeping my heart open to the world as it is requires my daily attention. I am learning every day to pay attention but not allowing my body/mind to absorb the poison of the destruction of peace. The horrors are cascading on so many levels for so many people all around the world. It is a lifework to find peace inside of myself.

I share this longish essay I wrote in the early 2020’s that is sadly even more relevant today.

Serpent’s Bite

I have never been bitten by a snake, though as a child I was bitten by a baby woodchuck that I thought was cute as it chittered at me on top of a woodpile, and by an ostrich in a small zoo in Holland when my hand rested on top of the fence, and my elderly dog while cleaning his upchucked barely digested breakfast that he suddenly reclaimed, and my cat, just because. But I have never been bitten by a snake.

Poisonous creatures have always frightened me when reading about them as a child. Scorpions, spiders, jellyfish and other sea creatures, amphibians, plants…from one quick inadvertent contact, you could even die and die painfully as their poison reached the heart. Medically speaking, folk wisdom and scientists have found ways for humans to utilize venom and poisons counteracting the entity’s deadly defenses. Transforming poisons has also been found uses like Botox which is made from a poisonous bacterium. Some treat illnesses like the yew plant which yields Taxol to treat cancer, or the synthetic replication of Gila monster venom for a medication treating diabetes.

Turning poisons into healing medicine is a reality. Transforming the poison of hatred into love might need the same methodical dissection of hatred’s power to render it into the beneficial power of love. Hatred can be taught, handed down in families, or as an inheritance of the culture that surrounds you. A hateful attitude can become so ingrained that it becomes unquestioned, unconscious, and as normal as breathing. It can be personally nurtured by repeated threats, wounds, and cruelty inflicted on us by others.

My mother was suspicious of wealthy people. I had absorbed her attitude until I looked at it as an adult. Having made friends with people who grew up with wealth and those who hadn’t (like me), I came to understand that my mother’s attitudes were based on her own past experiences, not mine. I had grown up in a town of many artists- the “poor starving artist” was an acceptable description of many talented people in my childhood. It was a relief to develop my own belief systems where someone’s worth, or talent, was not based on monetary considerations.

There is safety in numbers and gathering a tribe that reflects your grievances empowers and amplifies the righteousness of your position. “We hate you,” means you will no longer be the singular point of attack from the identified enemy. A group can inflict more pain in retaliation on the attacker/oppressor than an individual can. Groups inflamed with rage can run amok to become mobs which hide the individual’s responsibility for horrific acts as they are swept along on the heady sensation of group violence. Hate feels like power in the face of helplessness, an antidote to being a victim.

In Boston, in 1968, protesting peacefully against the Viet Nam war with my future husband, we were surrounded by a mingled crowd of those who were both ‘for’ and “against” the war. There were busses of police encircling the park where we had gathered. The atmosphere was increasingly tense. Microphones were in the hands of those against the war and many songs were sung while angry people shouted us down. A man in front of me turned around and spit at us yelling,” Go back to Russia!” I felt afraid that day. The rally ended with no one being injured. With today’s escalating violent responses to conflictual stances, those same circumstances might well have produced a different ending.

I see that what underlies hate is always fear and pain. As a species, we are so prone to pain in body, mind, and spirit. We are all afraid of feeling pain of any kind. Loss always involves pain. The loss of pride, success, ownership, money, beloveds, country, way of life, or loss of a healthy body can be traumatic. To me, the opposite of love is fear, not hate, but fear of pain in all its many forms that humans inflict and endure. Hate is the top layer of the wound that will not heal. It is an inflamed, poisonous scar that demands but cannot find resolution. Revenge- an eye for an eye, the destruction of the “other”- appears to be the most effective response.

Taking apart the impulse to hate and discovering the wound underneath smacks of being weak, the opposite response needed to free yourself from feeling victimized. Yet, to pull off the hardened scab and release the underlying infection of the original wound is the only way to truly heal. That act requires the power of conviction to address the lurking issue. That act begins to summon the healing forces of mind, body, and soul, with the power of a creative healing force, not a force of destruction.

It requires strength of purpose, and positive aggression directed towards perseverance. That aggression is empowered by love. Some of our strongest world political advocates for addressing injustice have promoted non-violence, the thousand acts of standing together, with repeated calls for change, all in the name of Love. To be held in a community of love will never be perfect in its corpus or the way it enacts its ideals. Communities are made of human beings; fallible, imperfect human beings.

But we do have choices to make. Where do we look for our allies in life? Who walks their talk without aggrandizing themselves? Who is willing to stand up with us when the going gets tough? Who aligns with a path that helps the most people while doing the least harm? Who is willing to grab the serpent behind its head before it spews poison trying to defend itself in a perceived life or death moment? 

Representing a completely different perspective of serpents is the caduceus. Because snakes shed their skins, they are an ancient Greek symbol of renewal and healing symbolized by two serpents entwining a staff.  Asclepius was a famous Greek healer and thanks to him, the AMA still uses that symbol today. Love is a potent antidote to the poison of hatred based on fear. When loves enters the blood streaming into the heart, hatred has no chance to survive.

Kendal Peace Pole displayed in eight languages photo by Ellie Stock

February

Me, sitting in wheelchair on left, many more people filing in to sit on the sides and back of the auditorium.

February

On Sunday afternoons at Kendal, we usually have a concert in the auditorium. This one was supposed be performed by two Oberlin Conservatory students playing a program of Shostakovich and Prokofiev. It was canceled as that was the day we had our share of the Big Snowstorm. We had a foot of snow that was just tapering off by 4:00, the usual time we  begin listening to sublime musical offerings.

Instead, given the prediction, Ellie and her husband, new-last-year-residents, decided the night before to call a pop-up peace and justice vigil to be held in the predictably empty auditorium at that time. Amazingly, as some folks would choose to remain comfortably in their homes to watch it on our campus wide TV, we gathered about 75 people around our Peace Pole, newly purchased due to the efforts of a committee spearheaded by Ellie and her husband Carlton. (Ordered from a company that makes them, ours has “May peace prevail on earth” in 8 different languages including Mohawk and in braille.) This spontaneous gathering was truly representative of our diverse community, as we shared voices of our fears, anger, hopelessness, and the many opportunities for active engagement locally, and, above all, hope. We spoke, listened, and sang together for peace and justice.

I was inspired to write a poem for the occasion and was moved to write another one the day after and a final one the day after that.

ICE TRYPTIC :  (three poems for Peace, by Judi Bachrach)

I:

Sitting for Peace in the Snowstorm            1/25/2026

Today, we have snow, you have ice.

We have desert heat, you have monsoons.

We share the same tapestry of sky

shaping the invisible atmosphere

rising miles above our heads

into dark universal space.





We have tragedy, you have joy.

We have violence, you sit for peace.

We have lost a parent; you birthed a child.

Emotions swim in the same ocean,

one drop indistinguishable from the other.

At our most basic,

we are always both a particle and a wave.





What is empty, what is full?

What is real, what is true?

What exists beyond my senses?

Embodying peace subsumes thought.

Embodying peace subsumes thought.

In the atmospheric ocean of peace,

Oneness is universal. I would dwell there.

II:

Embodied Peace   1/26/26

Embodied peace will tell you where to go and what to sign,

who to call, what to say, and when to remain silent.

Peace will tell you when to put your body on the line

and when to retreat because you still have more to do here.

Peace is loud or silent,

isolating and a magnet for gathering

like-minded souls to move the power of ignorance.

Peace erupts like a volcano,

lava streams covering everything

on the way to creating new ground.

Peace radiates the glow of love and justice

weighing exactly as much as that which is needed

to rebalance the scale.

Embodying peace is the work we do

to listen and to take right action.

III:

For the Love of Finches     1/27/26

Today it’s not the inbreath

of horror and anger

responding to wanton destruction

of life and sanity.

It’s the slow outbreath

of resolve to live in love.

The first awakening from sleep

into the world of an eldering body

carries miraculous awareness

of living another day,

another opportunity for joy.

Not in spite of sorrow,

but because I cannot en-joy one

without the other.

Gratitude for seeming opposites

finds a nesting home in my heart

where shivering finches

fluff their feathers sharing our bitter cold.

We feed them and their lives nourish ours in return.

That is how love works.

In gratitude and joy, I offer my life

to the Oneness of love,

one small seed at a time.

Having and Losing

Diary 6/13/19

I have exciting news! I am now a grandmother-to-be. My daughter and son-in-law’s baby boy will be born around December 20th. It is a time of awe and urgent patience. Waiting is not the right label for this state of hope. Time will invisibly unfold its wings, cell by cell, revealing a human child when the stars, the hormones, and my professor daughter’s semester is over on December 12th. If the little feller bides his time, she will somehow get all of her grading done before his arrival. She can only plan so much in advance, tailoring her syllabuses accordingly.

I am gaining a new role to play, one which I have long desired. My eyes have been misting over beautiful baby clothes in catalogues for the last twenty years. The entry of a new family member into our midst is as astonishing to me as it is to every family. The continuity of emerging generations is becoming more palpable as I age. I know of my recent ancestors and a smattering about more distant ones, but living with three generations is something to experience. Plenty of my friends here at Kendal are great-grandparents. My own grandmother got to hold both of my daughters before she died. Photographs are faded proof.

Did you know? Because a female fetus is born with all the eggs she will ever have in her small ovaries, when I carried my daughter, she already held the egg which is now becoming her son. So he was potentially there inside of me as well. This biological connection helps to underscore the powerful thread of family bonding, partially constructed of mothers and daughters and eggs. Of course fathers have their own paternal bonds, DNA and otherwise, and I am so grateful this child is born in the time of equal co-parenting.

Which leads me to the losing that is happening simultaneously with the having of such wonderful news. Richard so looked forward to being a grandfather. He always operated within long arcs of time. He anticipated sharing his loves and passions with the next generation on our sixty acres of land. He wanted to share his love of the earth with gardening, animals, and farming. His love of skiing, hiking, and riding, and his love of the arts would have been communicated in his wanting to discover and support whatever his grandson would come to love. As a therapist, Richard was steeped in the wonder of connecting early childhood development through the adult stories people told of their lives. It was a miracle of love to him; unraveling the wounds of the past to better heal the pain carried forward into the present. To share in the earliest journeys of evolving personhood with a grandson would have been a great blessing.

Since my son-in-law also lost his father in childhood, this child will not have a living blood relative grandfather. I will not have a partner to share this new role with. My daughter and I both feel a tinge of sorrow concurrent with our joy. The early factors of my grandson’s life are already being written. The state of our country and our threatened world is part of his story. I can only imagine what his generation will face and what his contribution will be. What will be called forth from all the new members of society as humanity faces our dire legacies?

The upcoming dates of Father’s Day and Richard’s birthday heighten our nostalgia in this month. Already my unborn grandchild heralds the unity of having and losing, joy and sorrow, and the reality of Love. A new being to love is coming soon to a screen very near and dear to me.