cactus garden and surroundings by author

It has only occasionally felt like summer for a day or so before spring weather returns, wet and chilly. Flowers have taken their time, but are blooming, nonetheless. Lettuces overflowing from a friend’s garden have found their way into my salad bowl. Above is a picture of our magnificent cactus garden and surroundings that is a breathtaking glory every year.

Who knew that northeast Ohio would support such a display? But the biologist who planted and maintains this garden knows his cacti. We are blessed to have such diverse garden designed to bring health and calming nourishment to our Care Center where it is located. But this courtyard garden also draws the whole community of residents who live farther out in their cottages and apartments. Every year people ask- are they blooming yet? and scurry over to the garden for the brief glory of vibrant color with thorns that glisten in the sun.

June is my husband’s birthday month. He would have been 75 this year. That is still relatively young for this community. I don’t plan on feeling sorrow or dwelling in the past when his birth and death dates arrive, but inevitably I am triggered by a memory from one source or another. I honor the tinge of sorrow or loneliness that arises. It is a doorway to acknowledging the love and life we shared for almost 50 years. I am aware of how fulfilling our relationship was for both of us in terms of healing our own childhood wounds and the fact that we understood from the very beginning that we were also spiritual partners.

Having worked with many folks as a therapist and spiritual counselor, I understand how challenging and infrequent that kind of relationship can be. I am deeply fortunate in feeling that Richard and I did everything we needed to do together in our lifetime. That leaves a lot of grateful love behind. He and I were not saints! Far from it, but we learned together as we went along with as many challenges as all young people face while we matured since the beginning of our teenaged partnership. What do teenagers know about loving themselves or another person? Not much- and the growing pains were evident in propelling us towards deeper understanding of our own issues and the longing to pursue a Greater Love we both knew was possible.

The fact that we now have two grandsons Richard will not meet is a fact that is buffered by seeing them grow and change with a little bit of their ancestors shining through their own young selves. Perhaps it is a projection, but certain looks and behaviors cannot help but ring a bell of familiarity. They are a joy and lend a welcome reminder that we are all a product of our ancestors reaching back into unfathomable histories. I give thanks for those unknown predecessors. Whatever this turbulent world will be like when our grandsons are adults, I know that they will have had deep loving support to fulfill their own contributions, whatever they may be.

Richard would be so proud of them, and our family celebrates his memory by eating ice cream. It was his favorite dessert throughout his life. Friends, former clients, and family members fondly recall that we served different ice creams for 300 people at his memorial. Spoons up, everyone!